The One with the 5k.

Yep, I started to officially train for a 5k today. I am trying to decide whether I am excited about it or not…I almost died today as I ran. You know, it’s been a while. But it’s a goal of mine…I love how running makes me feel…I wake up the next morning and feel so ridiculously sore. And because of that, I feel alive. Call me crazy, but I love being sore. Haha : )

I have always said that I want to run a marathon before I get married…I don’t really know why, but I want to. But 26.2 miles seems semi-ridic. Thinking about it  makes me want to die. I mean, I get bored after 30 minutes of running…I can’t even imagine hours of it. So, for now, that little dream of mine is on the back burner…or whatever that phrase is. haha!

But 5k, here I come.

*Maybe one day my posts will be legit interesting.

Joy, it’s here to stay.

I have been praying that God would reveal to me that I am where I am supposed to be…Every night, I beg Him to send me a visible reminder that I have joy in my life, right where I am. Also, I have been praying that He would give me a free spirit and an open heart…And through two pictures, Abba has shown me that I do have joy here and that He is in the process of freeing my spirit and opening my heart.

 

I know that joy isn’t dependent on the ability to laugh…but I do think that laughter is a direct effect of joy. My heart is soooooo full of joy, every day. I take it for granted. I take for granted the fact that I live within 10 minutes from my brothers…I mean, one of them is a door away. I take for granted that I have such a good relationship with my sis-n-law aka my sister. I take for granted my friends… They are awesome. They are raw, and I love that. I take for granted how these people can make me laugh until I almost pee my pants even when the future seems questionable…My life is so full of blessings.

I am continuing to pray that God opens my heart and frees my spirit even more… Joy, it’s here…with Jesus, good friends, and family… and it’s never going away…no matter where I go in life.

His heart is here...It's close, it's alive and beating.

Okay, this post is just going to be about an "inward battle" that I have been having the past few months...This is kind of a continuance of my last post...I want us to overcome this together. I want us to learn that God's heart is not in another country, but it's wherever there are people.


I feel "called" (or whatever you want to call it) to love the people that the world has tossed aside. I don't know what that means exactly in practicality, but I know that it could mean that I might move somewhere like the outskirts of a leper colony in India or Kenya, or maybe an AIDS hospital in Uganda, or a children's home in Knoxville. I don't know where this desire will take me, but it's going to take me further than I am comfortable with, no doubt. I am scared and excited. But today, I am lost...I am lost in the big picture of tomorrow. Yet, the past few months, God has been telling me to start weaving threads into the picture of my life, so that when the day comes, I can take a few steps back and see the big, beautiful picture of purpose and redemption of a simple college girl.

I have been getting out of my comfort zone over the past semester... I have been trying to live my life for my precious Savior first. Then, after Him, His beautiful people that He created. It's been hard. My soul has gone from hardened to beating with compassion and hope for these people around me. I have been through the refining fire, and the heat has been painful.

My heart has heard stories of brokenness, and as a result, my heart has been shattered more than I thought it could be. I have been taking a step out into the unknown...Sure, not in another country, but right here in Knoxville.

I was so ignorant to think that I could only love God and serve Him to my heart's capacity if I was in Africa or India (where my soul wants to be).

The thing is: God's heartbeat is so overwhelmingly strong in this city...God's heart breaks for the rich...He knows how hard it is to live for Him when we have every selfish thing we could ever want...And for this reason, He extends His grace so much in America. I sometimes believe that it is for this country that He grieves the most...A country blessed with riches but cursed with materialism. A country that ignores the needs of its own people...A country whose Church has been blessed with the materials and knowledge to change the world, yet sits paralyzed in comfort. Sometimes, when it rains, I imagine God's tears pouring down, hoping to wash us of greed.

The point: God loves the people in America, and His Spirit is moving and empowering people in huge ways.

Here are some redemption stories:

This past week, I heard the story of a woman who has been through so much darkness that I don't know how she first saw the flame of hope glowing...As she told her life's story to me, tears flowed out of my eyes, yet she stood with strength. She now gives her life to help families that are going through what she has been through at the Ronald McDonald House.

Before math class every MWF, I sat and talked to a girl whose eyes told more of a story than her words did... I would get to my car and weep for her lost heart. I would pray that I could share Jesus with her, even in some small way. God's promise that "those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy" came in a comforting wave every time my emotions took over. Each day, I sat and listened to her tell me bits and pieces of a broken story...Each day, I would smile and tell her about redemption with watery eyes. Her face would brighten for a few seconds as if what I was telling her could be possible, then her eyes would go back dark and tired. Satan had her filled with doubts of redeeming Love. I pray that one day, she finds the Hope she is desperately looking for.

As Veteran's day came this year, God reminded me of the verse that says "there is no greater love than this, that a man lays down his life for his friends." Today, I sent cards to these precious friends, reminding them that there is a college girl in Tennessee who wants to be like them when she grows up...Next week, I am going to visit a Veteran's home...God's heart is with the passionate and the fighters and the justice seekers...I can't imagine people who embody those things more than the military. I can't wait to hear these heroes' stories...I have a feeling that they are going to teach me more than I can imagine...

Next semester, I am going to be working with kids in the inner city and teenagers in a local school... These are things that intimidate me. These are things that I KNOW I can't do without His strength and grace. I am scared that I am not equipped...Yet, I want to be where His heart is...His Spirit works best in my weakness.

Each week, I go hang out with my grandmother...She's a widow. There is God's heart, friends...James 1:27 is closer than we thought.

I tell you all of this not to toot my own horn (b/c heaven knows that I am a walking wreck), but to show you that God is moving in your city in the same way that He is moving in Africa or India or Venezuela or Germany. I don't know why God is allowing me to be a part of His heartbeat to Knoxville, but He is...I am thankful that He is allowing these people to shape my heart. I am grateful for the opportunities to live the Gospel even when it's hard and when my heart longs to be somewhere else...God is still wanting to use you today, where you are. Loving and serving those people that are around you on a daily basis...that's the road Jesus wants us to walk
I challenge you to not buy into the lie that God is moving more in another country than in your city...Cultivate in your heart the eyes to see His hand in all situations, in all places.

Love. Love. Love.

The one with all the make-up.

Finals are over.

1. It is cold in K-town, UsA.

2. I stayed inside all day with my hazelnut coffee, sweat pants, fleece vest, knee high socks, no make-up, and a huge messy bun on the top of my head... I know, hott (with two t’s). Boys, eat your hearts out.

3. I cleaned out my wardrobe. I want to be as simple as possible. I think I got rid of 42 items altogether. Progress, friends, progress. I challenge you to do the same! : ) It’s a little bit refreshing. And I mean, in reality, who needs a ton of clothes?

5. I watched Friends…Hence the title of the post. I have become addicted to the show. Oh precious Jesus, send me a man with the sense of humor of Chandler Bing. Amen, yes.

6. Read some Karen Kingsbury (Even Now/ Ever after). Love her books. Check them out. You will cry like a baby and smile until your face hurts. Perfect for a day you just want to sit and weep.

7. Tonight, I put a ridic amount of make-up on…you know, just for fun. I was feeling artsy and chose make-up as my medium. Welcs to my life, beautiful people. Let’s just take a looksie at this mess and my reaction to it...(This is after I took some of it off, but you get the idea).

“Never again, never again. You look like a fool, a complete fool.”—my father. At least he speaks truth.

8. Now, I am spending my night watching The Sing-Off. I have literally been waiting a year for this sweet music nectar flowing from NBC.  P-T-L. Anyone else love it as much as I do?

9. I am in a mood for Thrift Store shopping. Love it. love it. love IT!

10. My best frayun Rae Geyer is back from Ukraine. We are going to be creepin’ it up for the next month…This is a typical picture of us, to be honest…Actually, this is one of the more normal ones…Sad, really.

 

One more item, a soul item: I want to challenge you, whatever part of life you are in, to take an hour and breathe...Take a little while to sit with Jesus and be satisfied. Ask Him to clear your head of the past and the future for just an hour or two…You see, I was talking to one of my best friends/sistas earlier today, and we talked about how we have felt suffocated lately. We both know that Abba has some exciting plans for each of us in the future because He has given us these beautiful pictures of them in our souls…But now that we have tasted the future, we want it. Anything less seems like it won’t fulfill us. We sit in class, learning about seemingly pointless things like a lecture on the history of sewer systems, and all of the sudden, the room closes in on us… We are suffocating…College becomes the enemy. We feel like we can’t breathe…It’s a place that we have all been. We want to experience something that makes us come alive…and Jesus is standing beside us saying,

“It’s ME who makes you come alive…ONLY ME. Taking care of the least of these won’t make you come alive, I promise. Finding the perfect guy isn’t going to make you come alive…I, Jesus the Redeemer, am the Creator and giver of life. Let My words sustain you. Love you, my beautiful bride…to the cross and back and then back again.”

Breathe tonight (or today)…Take a deep breath of Jesus’ love and grace. Obey and love right where you are…I mean, let’s face it: YOU, whoever you are, have been placed where you are for “such a time as this.” I don’t know about you, but I want to live in the moment. It’s how Jesus lived.

"...don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not anything else, defines your life."
1 Corinthians 7:17.

Make it home, make it safe.

I have always been a patriotic kind of person. I think my Grandpa instilled that in me…He was one of the most honorable men that I think I will ever meet. He was always sporting red, white, and blue. He loved the troops. He prayed for them. He wept with them…He knew what they were going through. When he heard about a fallen soldier in the news, he didn’t just turn the channel or flip the page…He closed his eyes; he prayed. He hurt, he broke, he remembered. He knew that they did not die in vain. He knew the price of freedom.

He didn’t talk much about his experiences in WWII, but when he did, there was pride in his eyes…But there was also pain, tears, and brokenness. I remember interviewing him for a project for school about war…I wasn’t going to interview him, but he wanted me to…It was the first time that I cried with my grandpa. His stories of war shocked me…His watery eyes as he shared with me revealed the fact that he wasn’t just answering my questions, he was reliving the pain…He talked slowly, as if each word brought another picture that he had buried. He spoke of the evils that his eyes saw, the brotherhood that he experienced, his love for America and freedom, and the fear he had. It changed me. He came back to a broken marriage, and constant memories of his friends dying before his very eyes. Grandpa is my hero, always and forever.

This week, my dad had a patient come into his office who just returned from Iraq where he worked with special operations…He told my dad of the horrible things he saw. He told him that the media is telling us that things are getting better…but they really aren’t. He talked about how there are more casualties today as there were 5 years ago. He told of friends that he saw killed. He shared stories of hope….He spoke with a passion for freedom…for Americans and Iraqis. This man is my hero.

The fallen soldier from Knoxville that I saw on the news this week…He is my hero.

The soldier that leaves his love to go fight for me…You are my hero.

The one that leaves his/her kids to fight for justice…You are my hero.

The one that misses the birth of their child or their child’s graduation for America…You are my hero.

The family left behind, worrying about their husband, wife, daddy, mommy, child, or friend…You all are my heroes.

To the family without a loved one at Christmas this year, you all are my heroes.

To the people who are my age who gave up college to protect me, you are my heroes.

I love America… I feel blessed to be here. I am thankful for the freedom that I have here…So cliché, I know.  Yet, I really feel that way. I feel an overwhelming thankfulness for the troops. This week, I have wept for the troops and their families…I have been broken for them, proud of them, and loving them. They have been heavy on my heart. I have been praying for them…praying for strength, wisdom, protection, healing, and comfort. I don’t ever want to forget their sacrifice for freedom and hope.

“You’re good, and you’re brave…What a father that you’ll be someday…Make it home, make it safe.”

Okay, check it.

If you didn’t know, I have a bucket list. One item on that list is to become artsy (whatever that means). I am starting to paint, do some photography, pottery, jewelry-making, getting a little trendy, sewing, and other awesome stuff! So, I made another blog to document my journey to becoming crafty… It will be less deep and soulful than this one (at least I think! haha!) I am keeping this one too, don’t you worry…Who am I kidding, no one is worrying! You need to check the new one out! It should be fun :) 

Subscribe to it! I am using wordpress for this blog, and I kind of love it. So, take a looksie and follow along! I am going to try posting some how-to’s once I get the hang of it! Okay, awesome! See you there! : )

http://hoppergetsartsy.wordpress.com/

LOVE. love. LOVE.