“ABBA,
I know this is so lame, but please reveal to me the TRUTH about being Your child, Your follower. I know that I am Yours, without a doubt. But what does this call for? I could move to the slums of India, change the world, feed the hungry, hold the least and the last, and NEVER fully get what denying myself means…I almost feel dumb for asking You what being Yours means…I should know that, right? I’ve gone to church all my life…I have attended conference after conference…I’ve been on tons of mission trips…I should know what it means to be Your follower, but I don’t think I do. Open my eyes…I just want to be like Jesus, whatever that means.”
I will just get real and say that lately, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that I am missing something essential…or maybe that most things I have been told about Christianity come together to for a cheap version of following Jesus. I have been wondering why I don’t feel like I have learned anything that Jesus would have taught after a church service. I have been frustrated by people using the terms “radical” and “extreme” when talking about certain Christians…terms that I have used before.
It’s just that if we are calling some people radical, that implies that there is a norm that is less than radical. And the norm is looked at as something Jesus wants us to be like too.
I think it’s funny that Jesus really only talks about true followers, the lukewarm (which He will spew out of His mouth), and hypocrites. Not normal Christians, extreme ones, and Sunday morning ones.
I sometimes wonder why Jesus talks SO much about persecution and how it’s a sure thing, and why America is one of about 10 nations that doesn’t really get persecuted…Are we living a watered down Gospel that doesn’t offend, doesn’t stand for Truth, doesn’t live out it’s beliefs to the point that people want to get rid of us? In churches, I have heard SOO many pastors thank God that Americans are free to worship without persecution…but Jesus said that it should happen…b/c if the world hated Him, they WILL hate us. So why don’t they hate us? If they killed Him, and we want to be like Him, shouldn’t we want to share in His suffering…? Momma T says that suffering and persecution are like a kiss from Jesus. Should we be praying for persecution that refines rather than thanking God for the freedom from persecution?
Jesus says the last will be first…So why have I heard so many sermons on the importance of being successful in jobs, having money, and the blessing of getting promotions? Isn’t that a contradiction to Jesus’ words?
James 1:27 says that pure and undefiled religion is taking care of the orphans and the widows and keeping oneself from being corrupted by the world…So, we follow the last part for the most part, but the first two we throw aside. Isn’t that a contradiction?
I feel almost brainwashed by some of the sermons that I have listened to and Bible studies I have sat through. Fluffy, surface sermons that water down the Gospel to make the congregation feel like they are truly living the Christian life. Sometimes, I almost buy into it. I almost start telling myself that I am a good Christian because I pray, read the Bible, fellowship, sponsor a child, have been on mission trips…
And that’s where I have been struggling. I am sick of listening to what other people say following Jesus means. I am sick of surface questions and sharing prayer requests that everyone forgets by the next week.
I want to read the Words of God and apply them. I want to read a scripture and think, "If someone watched my life, would they see this passage being brought to life?”
I feel like sometimes sermons, spiritual discussions, and Jesus books muddy up my view of Jesus-following.
I am going to take a few weeks and put up the devotionals, Christian books, sermons, etc and just read the Words of God.I think I am going to throw out David Platt’s Radical book. Maybe I will start a notebook that is full of words from Jesus’ mouth about being His follower.
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