Christian-ese... Get your flashcards ready.

Today I was checking out Rosetta Stone. Unless you have been "living under a stupid rock," you know what that is. (Reference: "living under a stupid rock" comes from this lollercoaster of a youtube video. check it out by clicking here.)

Anyway, back to the point. It turns out that there is a new Rosetta Stone for Christian-ese. Obviously, I don't need it. I am fluent in it...I hope you are too. If you are already confused about this, I will pray for you (meaning that I probably won't unless I pull a ninja move and do it right now).

This is the information that was on the website about it:
Do you need help understanding the crazy Christians at your school or workplace? This is the perfect item for you!
$777.77 (God loves the number "7").
Free 0.46 fl oz of Jesus' blood annointing oil.
WAIT! THERE'S MORE! One grain of sand from the sea of Galilee inside a cross necklace!

Ok, I lied (I know, Revelation Revelation 21:8 21:8. Liars go to hell, liars go to hell...Burn! Burn! Burn! Don't worry, the gasoline panties are already on...). This is not a real item...BUT, I think it should be.

Some may be asking what Christian-ese is. In Greek, the word means "a really confusing language used by Christians that comes right after Jesus comes to live inside your blood-pumping organ called the heart..."

There's no problem with using it, really... I use it at times. Though, when used around people who don't know the language, it causes awkwardness, an uncomf silence, accompanied with a confused face.

So here's the dilemma:
Should we stop using it altogether? Or should we just teach those around us what the phrases mean? How in the WORLD will people know we are Christians if we eliminate this spirit-filled jargon? Should we go to the closest Lifeway and purchase a second WWJD bracelet to prove we are Christ-followers?! (I have one on as I type this...) These are just a few questions we will ponder and hope to answer (Oh Lord, grant us wisdom!). Are we becoming like the Pharisees? Jesus says in Matthew 23:13, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to." Are we shutting the kingdom of heaven in people's faces by using Christian-ese? We will eventually talk about this.


This is going to be a weekly series about the language of Christian-ese. This is for 2 groups of people.
1.) Christians who know the language fluently... You will laugh during this series b/c you use each one of these terms in your daily life and blow up the book with them...I know I do.
2.) People who have no idea what Christian-ese is, but they want to! This is for you, too! Get your flash cards out and start practicing.

These are a few phrases we will take a deeper look into:
Praise the Lord!
You are causing me to stumble.
I'm giving this up for the call of Christ!
Traveling Mercies.
Hedge of protection.
Dating Jesus.
An Elijah friend.
Fellowship
I'm praying for God to open some doors.
Thank you for spurring me on!
I have to get off the book, I'm going to have my quiet time.
God is Good all the time. And all the time, God is Good.
I’m feeling convicted about this...
PTL.
&Who wants to pray?


I am already experimenting a little with using these words in public places...I will let you in on these stories a little later.

So, once again, follow this blog and chuckle and giggle (or study your flashcards) along. I'd love for you to comment your favorite Christian-ese phrases or how using them caused uncomfortable/awkward situations.I'll ask God to bless you with lots of money if you do comment. Baller.