Real Talk #7: Beating, beating, beating.

A few years ago, I decided that I want to be where Jesus is. Wherever the heart of God is, that's where my heart will be. So, I began praying that He would reveal to me where He is...Sure, I knew that His presence was everywhere...but I think I really wanted to know where His heart was. I mean, I go to class on a daily basis, but my heart is not there. I go to class, do what I have to do, talk to people, etc. I am still the same Rachel, but I am just less passionate about it...Sometimes, I feel like Jesus was the same way while on earth. And sometimes, I feel like God is the same way today...His presence is every where, He loves all His people, He works among all people, but there are some places that He just loves to be, places that make His smile bigger. I think His smile is bigger when there is joy in the midst of pain. I think His smile is bigger when a little girl who has never known love feels the arms of a forever mommy and daddy around her for the first time. I think His smile is bigger when He sees one of His children live selflessly. But, really, where is God's heart? Where do we find it?

I have started looking for Jesus' heart. I started in Scripture...Every time that I read a verse that shows where the heart of God is, I write it down...If there is some lifestyle that God talks about, I write it down. If there is something that God hates, I write it down. A lot of them have one thing in common. I will post another blog with those verses tomorrow probs... but I will sum them up for you.

God is everywhere. He is working everywhere. But He is really passionate about faith with obedience, loving the orphans, the widows, the poor, the lepers, the hurt, the broken, the passionate, the seeking, and those that are running from Truth. He is really passionate about justice. That's where His heart is.

Scripture after Scripture reveals that. He is in favor of those that live the Gospel more than those that talk about it (Read James and you will see that). He hates when religious leaders "close the door of heaven in men's faces." (Matthew 23)He isn't a fan of sacrifices without a broken Spirit (Psalm 51:17). He isn't a fan of worship songs if there is no worship by obedience to His Word. He isn't a fan of a church if it lives in its four walls. He isn't a fan of people giving 10 percent of their incomes. He isn't a fan of people who ignore the needs of others. He isn't a fan of self-centered politics. He is a fan of justice, showing compassion, living by His Spirit, reading and living His Word, and loving people. He isn't always a big fan of churches, but He is a fan of THE BRIDE.


I have been to multiple churches over the past few years. (Sometimes, I just get sick of the same church over and over.)

I have learned that the church can be pretty, and it can be a whore...and I am no exception.


Sometimes, there is an undeniable beauty in the church. Sometimes, I hear a prayer that is so raw that it brings me chill bumps. Sometimes, I hear a song of praise flowing from the mouth of someone who has recently lost their mom or dad. Sometimes, I hear a pastor talk about how it's all about Jesus. Sometimes, I experience true community at church. Sometimes, I see God's hand in things at church. Sometimes, I see people who live out their faith. Sometimes, I see encouragement. Sometimes, I see men that lead their families with self-control and integrity. Sometimes, I see families that care for the orphans. Sometimes, I see Hope in people's eyes...Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes, I stand during worship and wonder where God is among the people smiling fake smiles and singing selfish worship songs that are more about us than God. Sometimes, I listen to a preacher preach things that are out of context. Sometimes, I sit and listen to preachers in churches or on TV that yell things that are just ridiculous...Sometimes, I hear preachers that teach really arrogant things. Sometimes, I hear practiced prayers that I think God closes His ears to. Sometimes, I hear people ask God why He isn't listening to their cry to Him and I think of Proverbs 21:13..."If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered." Sometimes, I hear a praise team sing that it's all about Jesus...and then the pastor gets up and talks about how awesome the band sounded. Sometimes, I see people take communion like it's an afternoon snack that tastes really bad. Sometimes, I see a praise team and choir that is putting on a performance...Sometimes, I see a pastor on tv that is known in his community as one of the rudest, most money-centered people anyone has have ever met. Sometimes, I hear lessons that have no heart behind them. Sometimes, I hear people using hate-filled words. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes.

Sometimes, I pray that God would show me where His heart is...And I can't feel His heart beating in the church. Sometimes, I wake up and say, "Hey God, where are you today?" I go to church; He's no where in sight. I step outside, go to Panera, and sit next to an old man reading a book about war and I see brokenness and pain in his eyes, and I feel God's heart. I sing a song in a church with millions of dollars worth of speakers in their sanctuary, and I can't feel the heart beat of God. I walk out, meet a friend for lunch, hear her talk about how she doesn't know how she is going to make it through the storm that is upon her...I find His heart beat. I sit and hear a guy who is apparently a Jesus-follower talk about how he just wants a career that gets him a lot of money so he can have a big house and a nice car...I can't feel His heart beat. I sit across from a girl who wants to change the world, cries at night about the brokenness that she sees around her, wants to love the abandoned, and wants to give everything she has for her Savior, and I can all of the sudden feel His pulse in her soul's dream. I sit in a classroom at a Christian school and hear people say, "PRAISE THE LORD! God is good, all the time! He is so faithful!" then see them ignore someone's needs in the hallway, and I can't hear the heart beat of God. I sit down with a guy who tells me that he has really messed up a lot in his life and knows He doesn't deserve God's grace...He tells me that he needs Jesus, but he isn't good enough for His love...I feel the pulse of the heart of God strong against my hand. I sit in a business meeting where they are talking about repainting the church, and I can't feel His heart...I read about a church who meets under a tree, rain or shine, and I feel His heart. I think about living a life with a husband, two kids, and a pretty house in the suburbs, and I can't feel His heart...I think about living a life with beautifully diverse children in a barely big enough house...There's His heart beat again. Beating, beating, beating.

...God's heart is with the broken, the people who realize that they are part of a people undeserving of grace just like the prodigal son. God is with the the child who dreams. God is with the couple who lives a like of reckless abandon for their Redeemer. God is with the orphans...God is with the little girl in the darkness of the night of prostitution in Atlanta (yes, Atlanta), Mumbai, and Bangkok ...God is with the man dying of cancer...the mom dying of AIDS. God is with the woman whose husband left her for a younger woman...God's heart is beating, beating, beating in the midst of brokenness. If the church isn't with the broken, then I am not sure if the church really knows the heart of God.

Jesus is REDEEMER. He is looking for those that are in need of REDEMPTION. We are the REDEEMED. We should be looking for those in need of REDEMPTION. Jesus is HOPE. He finds His place of dwelling among the HOPELESS. We have HOPE, we should go out to the HOPELESS. Jesus is JUSTICE, He makes RIGHT the INJUSTICE. We know JUSTICE, so we should make RIGHT the INJUSTICE. Jesus is LIGHT, so He goes to the DARKNESS to shine. We have His LIGHT, so we should go into the DARKNESS.

I want to be where Jesus is.